This photo of a wedge-tailed eagle feasting on roadkill was taken by Mr Fritz @fritzenhergenburger, I thought it was the perfect image to go with this story. Uninhibited, committed and voracious.
Sometimes the most basic forms of human behaviour take place around meal times, particularly at buffets. On a recent holiday I had the 'pleasure' of witnessing just that. I was staying with Mr Fritz at a fairly up market resort near the sea, and at our first breakfast, I had the opportunity to indulge in one of my favourite past times - observation. This also happens to be a skill of mine, and one that I am pretty good at. I often joke that "I see everything!"
So on this lovely sunny morning we arrived at the indoor-outdoor breakfast area where I very quickly scanned the space and tapped into the controlled frenzied vibe that often permeates occasions like these.
I was excited too - you never know what deliciousness will be part of the buffet spread. And walking around the different food areas is like a fun food discovery. I spot the pastry section which is adored by so many, then the loaves of breads and various spreads, muffins and even gluten free berry friands. Then I see at least four different types of muesli, a range of the more typical cereals, fresh and poached fruits, nuts and seeds, some cheeses and meats, large squares of frittata and boiled eggs.
We were then told by one of the waiters that for an additional fee you can upgrade your breakfast which means you can eat everything from the buffet and on top of that you get to order from a seperate cooked menu - phew, I was exhausted just at the thought!
But others weren't. The peeps were hungry, even ravenous. They were on holiday and they were splurging and indulging. The generous buffet wasn't enough and the seperate menu was far too enticing. More is always better, at least that's what I tend to see. Getting value for money and forcing extra food down your throat just because it's there seems to be de rigueur. So I watched as stacks of eggs, bacon, avocado and hollandaise sauce were being delivered to tables as well as other breakfast-type dishes.
The young hungover man next to me was still shovelling it in as his girlfriend finished and said, "Well I'm sorted for the rest of the day!" As she said this she held her bag up triumphantly as though she had stashed food in it for later. Next I noticed the model couple. She had very short slightly frayed denim shorts and a shirt that was buttoned down just enough so I could get a glimpse of her frilly edged bikini top. Both of them ordered extra food too, even though she was already devouring a large bowl of muesli with yoghurt and fruit. I didn't think people like her ate. But perhaps that was to be her only meal for the day, so she had to make it count.
Then I noticed two mums and six kids arrive. Oh dear, "This should be interesting," I thought. The kids, according to my estimation were all under the age of 6. I could already feel the stress of the mums and the staff. Within moments the mums sorted out the kids with large pastries and additional huge dollops of jam......in fact, one of the mums swiftly emptied the entire pot of jam that was on offer. Hmm, all that flour and sugar. Is that how they momentarily pacify the kids in a place like this? No fruit, yoghurt, cheese or eggs in sight. The table was a mess as the kids were fending for themselves while the mums took off to pile their own plates high with pastries and other breakfast goodies.
I was near one of the mums when she was cutting large chunks of cheese off for herself. After she cut through the brie with the communal knife, she quickly wiped the excess soft cheese off the blade with two fingers and then licked her fingers clean. Gross! There was no way I was going anywhere near that knife or that cheese.
And then came the best. To my left was a very smiley petit blonde woman wearing the mandatory resort-style kaftan; hers was a kaleidoscope of pinks and purples, yellows and oranges and bits of gold trim. This was her second time here, I heard her partner tell the waitress, they'd come from Sydney for a few nights. She was poised and even coy now that I think back. But what she didn't know is that she was sitting next to me - AKA hawk eye. So when she returned from the buffet selection with her very own takeaway paper coffee cup piled high with dried fruits and deftly placed it into her handbag, she didn't realise I saw it. She continued smiling sweetly and making casual comments about her breakfast.
Then her partner returns with two apples. She dealt with these just as quickly - bam, just like that they were in the bag. They were well practiced at this. I was bemused and a bit shocked. There was something sneaky and desperate about her, but she also seemed smugly victorious. I could tell she was putting on an unnaturally sweet persona, she was performing. Meanwhile the breakfast buffet cacophony kept escalating, the mums were angrily but quietly scolding and threatening the kids. The model couple barely spoke, instead these two beautiful people busied themselves with their phones while they ate.
